MNBMA - 03.09.2020

It gets harder by the days...

One day you're alright..

Another you're back to moody..

You told me you are in a midst of deciding something that will affect our future and it may or may not be pleasant to me.

You told me last night you're trying to change me.

You told me not every ending has to end with tears.

Today we were both watching MF's wedding. And all I wanted was to create tiny conversation with you while doing something in common. But what was your response? "Tengok je lah. Aduh" 

Sure, i'm being sensitive.. but I just wanted to have tiny conversation with you after not talking to you the whole day.

You already took away from me a lot of joy that i've enjoyed since you were around and this disconnection feeling is getting stronger.

At this point, i would rather have no status and grumble about my crush than have a partner who pretends. 

My overthinking self is preparing me with thoughts of you deciding to leave. As much as I prepare myself, i know that when the time comes.. it is never gonna be the same... i will still cry, hear my heart break and whatever u feel when you get your heart broken..

It's just.. the feeling now and how you treated me is just.. idk... if I knew things will turn out this way.. would i have let myself fall for you? Probably not..