What comes after 2022

Two things on my mind right now:

1. You
2. My cousin

But, let me start with my cousin first. I'm angered by the fact that my dad wants to intro my cousin to work at NS. For fuck sake, I HATED MY DAD'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY. Due to the fact that they always looked down on my family. And some other reason. Firstly, this kid is enrolled into RP and is starting school this April. Could you imagine how "jailed" i feel having cousin you are not closed to and somewhat do not want around, are very near you? I felt insecure. AND NOW MY DAD WANTS HIM TO WORK AT THE SAME PLACE I'M WORKING AT?! I shall thank my dad first and foremost for introducing me to such a nice working place. I love what i do. I love my colleagues. I love everything about my job. Animals. Guest. Tour guides. It's coming to my 1 year of being at NS and he just have to ruin everything. If that dude were to work at where i'm working at, i'll get serious and be a no fun person to work with. I hate the feeling of being insecure and uneasy with what I do. FOR ASSHOLES SAKE, PLEASE DO NOT WORK AT THE SAME PLACE I'M WORKING AT ! I don't want to get reported for my bad behaviour, my crazy moments, my bitch moments, my acting moments! I DO NOT NEED A PAPARAZZI IN MY LIFE ! I'm fine just the way I am, thank you. IF YOU WOULD MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND NOT GET INVOLVED IN MY LIFE, by all means come and join my work place. BUT FUCK NO. KNOWING YOUR MOM, I KNOW HOW THINGS GONNA GO ON IF YOU WERE TO JOIN! I am enraged. And if he were to be accepted to work in NS, I'm sorry, but i've got to leave. I love this job. I love what i do. But i just hate being insecure.

Next you, I wanted to grab you and just hug you to let you know how I feel. But on second thought, i'm just another normal girl who doesn't seem special in your eyes. I do not want to chase you any further. I didn't even start. Cause i'm afraid you would run away from me. I don't want you to run away from me. I want you near. I gave my heart to you. I really did. But you don't know how i feel. You don't.