The pain - 18.01.2021

One week into this breakup and i'm not dealing well with my emotions. I cry sometimes thinking of how unaffected you are with this breakup. I want to get over and done with this feelings. It is the memories of how u used to make me happy is what kept me sad. I dont even know anymore. 

Somedays i wonder if i was at fault. Maybe I was petty to you. Maybe I was demanding to you. Maybe you felt pressured by my constant pouring of love and concern for you. Maybe I was too much for you. Maybe you were never happy to be with me. 

I don't know what is wrong with us and how to fix us and why are we the way we are. Did u ever care about fixing and keeping what we had? Do I even matter to you? What? Why? How? When? There are just way too many questions that I don't know the answer for and it sucks. It sucks to have an overthinking mind and you can't help but to think about everything and wonder if it is all my fault that you turned numb amd heartless towards me. What have I done wrong? Why?