The Last Straw - 25.12.20

Tomorrow will be the last of my promise. 

I'm gonna fulfill that last promise I made to you and then, I will leave. If you leave too it would be great. I've tried to make it mutual. I've tried so hard to put in effort. I've tried. But I couldn't feel what I used to feel from you. We've lost it. Not by a little. But we've lost it all. I don't know what have I not done to make you love me like you used to. 

I want to be someone's Insha Allah, Yes.

I don't want to be someone's Insha Allah, Maybe. 

I want to be happy and i think i deserve to be treated right. You treat me nice only when u want to. You treat me nice only when you feel like it. You don't even care about me do you? No you don't. I care about you. I loved you. I tried my very best to be everything u needed. I needed the attention. I needed the care.

I've never really asked for grand, materialistic or something out of ordinary. I just asked that you pay attention to me, tell me stories, talk to me about things, treat me nice. The littlest things are things that u could not even do for me so why would I even think of asking for greater things right? The only thing that im thankful for is the status of not being single. I dont even think you added blessings to my life.

I wanted you around because of your religious knowledge but to think of it, you've done nothing at all. You've not shared religious stuffs with me. You've taught me nothing. You just, idk why are you my partner anyway. We share a status and nothing else. That's all we are. A status. 

And yes, i get it. Kita takda kaitan. We are just a status so none of us is obliged to do anything. But you know, when people love each other they try their best to give each other the best and always wants the best for us. Memang Allah selalu suruh minta dengan dia sebelum apape. Tapi Allah tak pernah cakap yang kita tak sepatutnya berusaha. 

So i guess, this is where we part okay?

So ya..  hey, bukan jodoh kita kan? 

It's okay. Allah will send you the best and insha Allah, Allah has already written the best for me. Hey, good luck okay? I love you. But I have to let you go.