Always a step late
Happy New Year!
Nawh, that was supposed to be a topic typed in 3 months ago. But 3 months ago was a total hell. With Final Year Project in hand, time flew pass and hello March. Final Year Project was a total hell but thank Allah that it is all over and done with. Every single thing that happened during that 3 months, i do not want to remember.
2013 and the Beginning of 2014 had too many things going on and i'm just left being confused on which to put up as priority. But i got every priority right. It's sad enough though that i was not able to graduate with my batch. Always a step late in whatever i have in life.
I'm a step late when it comes to education.
A step late in graduating from Secondary School due to my fault.
A step late in graduating from Polytechnic due to the school's system and partly my fault.
A step late in being the person he noticed first.
A step late in being the person who could have been his.
And the list will surely do continue wouldn't it? It just seems everything i do, i'm always a step late. All maybe because i'm always praying a step late. Allah punishes me for this right? Even though sometimes at the end of it all, Allah rewards me with happiness but i'm always a step late.
When will i ever be noticed first? When will i ever succeed first? When will i ever be the first to make myself proud? When will i ever be the one? When will i ever be the one someone couldn't take their eyes off? When will the partner that was created for me, come and get me?
I know it's too early to ask all those, but i couldn't stop those thoughts from coming. It's been pretty darn lonely and everything is just as it is. It is to stagnant. My life is of no fun. Well of course, i do want to be loved. Who doesn't? But i do predict that my heart, it will harden very soon and i will turn into a sadistic lady with no love to give.
Well, whatever.
Nawh, that was supposed to be a topic typed in 3 months ago. But 3 months ago was a total hell. With Final Year Project in hand, time flew pass and hello March. Final Year Project was a total hell but thank Allah that it is all over and done with. Every single thing that happened during that 3 months, i do not want to remember.
2013 and the Beginning of 2014 had too many things going on and i'm just left being confused on which to put up as priority. But i got every priority right. It's sad enough though that i was not able to graduate with my batch. Always a step late in whatever i have in life.
I'm a step late when it comes to education.
A step late in graduating from Secondary School due to my fault.
A step late in graduating from Polytechnic due to the school's system and partly my fault.
A step late in being the person he noticed first.
A step late in being the person who could have been his.
And the list will surely do continue wouldn't it? It just seems everything i do, i'm always a step late. All maybe because i'm always praying a step late. Allah punishes me for this right? Even though sometimes at the end of it all, Allah rewards me with happiness but i'm always a step late.
When will i ever be noticed first? When will i ever succeed first? When will i ever be the first to make myself proud? When will i ever be the one? When will i ever be the one someone couldn't take their eyes off? When will the partner that was created for me, come and get me?
I know it's too early to ask all those, but i couldn't stop those thoughts from coming. It's been pretty darn lonely and everything is just as it is. It is to stagnant. My life is of no fun. Well of course, i do want to be loved. Who doesn't? But i do predict that my heart, it will harden very soon and i will turn into a sadistic lady with no love to give.
Well, whatever.
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