To continue or to stop

I really need some light..

I honestly really need to start thinking about my priorities all over again. I'm pretty messed up right now With my train of thoughts not only involving grades, FYP and work.. It also involves this eyecandy i'm having ever since i came back to my part-time job after my internship.

The fact that i did not notice him that much before bothers me a lot because he has been working in the show department for a year plus. Which actually is quite impossible for someone like me to not take notice. Maybe i did take notice. But previously he has a girl. Which maybe explains why i did not even eye on him nor notice him that well.

Sometimes, the little things he do gave me hope. But i do know very well that i shouldn't have such hopes. I'm no one to be compared to him and is not compatible to be his other half as well. Yes, i know my place and i do know my ground. But i'm still human. I still hope and i still wish that i could be his other half. Just a wishful thinking.

The fact that my close one said that he acted differently every time i'm around.. I don't even know if i should take that as a positive or a negative thing. Sometimes i just wish he himself could tell me to stay..

I didn't want to go to the extent of my actions previously with A. I don't want you to be bothered with me like how A went through previously. I just don't want to get on your bad side. Your dark side, i don't even want to see it. I just want to look at your brightness and everything positive about you.

And the fact that i have a feeling that you are blocking me from seeing your post.. It is actually quite, sad.

To end it there's no light for me to hold on to right now. I really couldn't choose to continue or to stop..