Uhm well, right hi to the new blog layout on blogger for blogger users? Okay. So yeah, my heart is heavy and full of burden again. It's time to let it all out, HERE.
Firstly, i regret cursing mrWarm about him failing his TP. Now he really did fail his TP. I regretted it even though i know that deep down i have actually been praying for him to pass. So during my colour and new media module this morning, i couldn't concentrate so i decided to write him a tiny message and whatsapp him some motivating message. So i wrote down, "You did your best. Cheer up :D" It was sweet right? Well at least i find it sweet so does my team. But he, just have to say "I'm not even sad ..." And bla bla bla. I was so upset that he never appreciated. But i still felt bad for cursing him so i get him a Snickers chocolate even though he failed. It's just a motivating thing for him. Unfortunately he choose to take things for granted by saying, "Eh one only?" And i feel like punching his face. Really. Well whatever. I promised myself that this will be the last thing i'd do for him. No more. People say "Do not make someone your priority, If you are just an option to them." The thing is, I am none. I am neither a priority in his life nor am I an option. I'm just someone who he works with. I'm just someone who his classmate used to hang out with. I'm just someone who isn't really part of his life. I really wanted to treat him Avengers since he really wanted to watch it. I really waited for him to pass and my money was there waiting for him. And wow, he failed. And now he is going around asking if anyone wants to watch with him. But he simply pushed me away. Fine i get it. You don't want me to be there with you. Okay. Whatever. i can't be bothered anymore. The more i tried to get rid of him, the more upset i get. The more emotional i get. The more i loved him. The more i can't forget. Please, somebody just stop this heart from loving him. It's too painful. It's too hurting. It's too unfair. Ya Allah, please. This little heart of mine could not hold this hurt any longer. It's too much for me to handle.
Secondly, i hate to upgrade myself at work. I realise, the lower position you have at work, the happier you are. Because even though you don't know much, and you're being directed at, but you know nothing about the politics in the upper positions. Just like today. It was my first time being in that position and everything just have to be like what today is all about. And I am really upset with H! I know he is not sick! He just wanted to enjoy and celebrate today because he passed his TP ! Like okay, fine, but i'm really upset after being pushed into the show to do the highest position. And it sucks because today is a Friday, and obviously we have a lot of visitors ! Especially from I! I don't mean to be racist but really, i can't stand them because they just have to 'chiong' in and create problems! I'm so upset that i have to do his job, and IT WAS MY FIRST TIME doing it. I was supposed to do something in a lower position than him and was supposed to help him out. But no, because he wanted to go an enjoy, he did not even find replacement, so he just said he was n mc and oh well, i was pushed inside and our station just have to be down with staff. Downstaff+hectic situation is a NO-NO at our workplace. But what else can i do? He's being thoughtless when i told him about it. And did the "Yalah.. Everything my fault.. You all not at fault" attitude! SERIOUSLY?! THE ONLY THING YOU COULD DO IS APOLOGIZE AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR EVEN ASK ME WHAT HAPPEN! BUT NO! YOU CHOOSE TO GIVE ME THAT SUCKISH ATTITUDE OF YOURS AND MAKE IT AS IF YOU'VE BEEN WORKING HARD YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND THE WHOLE WORLD OWES YOU SOMETHING! YOU ARE JUST BEING HEARTLESS AND THOUGHTLESS ! I'M JUST SO FUCKING UNHAPPY SEEING YOU LIKE THIS ! THIS IS JUST UNFAIR TO ME, TO EVERYBODY. BUT THE BEST PART IS YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND! A FRIEND WHO LEAVES THE TROUBLES TO HIS FRIEND. YOU SHOULD GET AN AWARD !
I'm too upset to the point of time that swallowing food is no longer eligible. Seriously. I'm hungry right now. Really hungry. There's food in the kitchen. But, i'm just too upset to be able to eat. Hais :(
Firstly, i regret cursing mrWarm about him failing his TP. Now he really did fail his TP. I regretted it even though i know that deep down i have actually been praying for him to pass. So during my colour and new media module this morning, i couldn't concentrate so i decided to write him a tiny message and whatsapp him some motivating message. So i wrote down, "You did your best. Cheer up :D" It was sweet right? Well at least i find it sweet so does my team. But he, just have to say "I'm not even sad ..." And bla bla bla. I was so upset that he never appreciated. But i still felt bad for cursing him so i get him a Snickers chocolate even though he failed. It's just a motivating thing for him. Unfortunately he choose to take things for granted by saying, "Eh one only?" And i feel like punching his face. Really. Well whatever. I promised myself that this will be the last thing i'd do for him. No more. People say "Do not make someone your priority, If you are just an option to them." The thing is, I am none. I am neither a priority in his life nor am I an option. I'm just someone who he works with. I'm just someone who his classmate used to hang out with. I'm just someone who isn't really part of his life. I really wanted to treat him Avengers since he really wanted to watch it. I really waited for him to pass and my money was there waiting for him. And wow, he failed. And now he is going around asking if anyone wants to watch with him. But he simply pushed me away. Fine i get it. You don't want me to be there with you. Okay. Whatever. i can't be bothered anymore. The more i tried to get rid of him, the more upset i get. The more emotional i get. The more i loved him. The more i can't forget. Please, somebody just stop this heart from loving him. It's too painful. It's too hurting. It's too unfair. Ya Allah, please. This little heart of mine could not hold this hurt any longer. It's too much for me to handle.
Secondly, i hate to upgrade myself at work. I realise, the lower position you have at work, the happier you are. Because even though you don't know much, and you're being directed at, but you know nothing about the politics in the upper positions. Just like today. It was my first time being in that position and everything just have to be like what today is all about. And I am really upset with H! I know he is not sick! He just wanted to enjoy and celebrate today because he passed his TP ! Like okay, fine, but i'm really upset after being pushed into the show to do the highest position. And it sucks because today is a Friday, and obviously we have a lot of visitors ! Especially from I! I don't mean to be racist but really, i can't stand them because they just have to 'chiong' in and create problems! I'm so upset that i have to do his job, and IT WAS MY FIRST TIME doing it. I was supposed to do something in a lower position than him and was supposed to help him out. But no, because he wanted to go an enjoy, he did not even find replacement, so he just said he was n mc and oh well, i was pushed inside and our station just have to be down with staff. Downstaff+hectic situation is a NO-NO at our workplace. But what else can i do? He's being thoughtless when i told him about it. And did the "Yalah.. Everything my fault.. You all not at fault" attitude! SERIOUSLY?! THE ONLY THING YOU COULD DO IS APOLOGIZE AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR EVEN ASK ME WHAT HAPPEN! BUT NO! YOU CHOOSE TO GIVE ME THAT SUCKISH ATTITUDE OF YOURS AND MAKE IT AS IF YOU'VE BEEN WORKING HARD YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND THE WHOLE WORLD OWES YOU SOMETHING! YOU ARE JUST BEING HEARTLESS AND THOUGHTLESS ! I'M JUST SO FUCKING UNHAPPY SEEING YOU LIKE THIS ! THIS IS JUST UNFAIR TO ME, TO EVERYBODY. BUT THE BEST PART IS YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND! A FRIEND WHO LEAVES THE TROUBLES TO HIS FRIEND. YOU SHOULD GET AN AWARD !
I'm too upset to the point of time that swallowing food is no longer eligible. Seriously. I'm hungry right now. Really hungry. There's food in the kitchen. But, i'm just too upset to be able to eat. Hais :(
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