What comes after 2022

You know, i've always been stupid when it comes to liking a guy . Oh now i fall for MrWarm lah ? And it's like he always bully me. He was never gentle towards me. Always think i was a guy lah right? Forever bullying me because i'm his easy target. And being tall, he got an advantage because i'm freaking short. And every time he tries to act as if he's gonna cover me, i felt so small even though i'm so fat ! :3

But i still like him. NOW THAT IS THE FREAKING PROBLEM LAH SIA -.- If I like him, and he have the same attitude as all my previous crushes, WHAT DO I HAVE LEFT? The same trauma? The same shame? The same of everything like I went through years and years ago? For freak sake i'm turning NINETEEN AND ONE MORE YEAR I'LL BE TWENTY. If everything is still the same, it just looks like my entire life is going to be full of that ! I'm not growing up. My age is rising. but nothing changes ! Am i even making any sense typing all this down? Uhm i don't care. I just wanna say what my heart wants me to say right now. And then, for a moment, Stickman and Tummy Fats disappeared from my life. I used to go GUGUGAGA every time i see Stickman or Tummy Fats at work. BUT now, eh, no longer eh ? But instead I am always nervous around MrWarm-.- NOW WHAT AMALINA NOW WHAT?! FOR IDK WHATEVER REASON THERE IS, WHY HEART ?! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME TO LIKE HIM?! WHY DID I EVEN START ?! WHY DID I DREAMT OF HIM ?! NOT ONCE BUT TWICE! WHY AM I SUCH A FULL ?!?!?!?!