What comes after 2022

dear strangers on earth, i did not want my blog to be mono. but unfortunately, it is going to be, today, and maybe for a few more weeks. so if you strangers feels bored with a mono blog, then, goodbye, come back after 3 weeks maybe?

Well, first of all, i would like to thank all those who cared, sherry, liyana, mueiin, nazri [suprising], syera and faqih. that's all i could remember, and in anycase i forget anyone, i'm sorry. but the biggest thanks is to hafiz. i owe you one my fren.

well, my tragedy involves two important[maybe, idk] people. one of which is, frownie. and the other, ex-crush.

tragedy 1, frownie.

he had finally owned up that he was aware of my crush towards him. and well, get this right kay strangers, i've got a grudge against syafiq ibrahim. unfortunately, the person who toldd frownie everything is him. well, he just loves to see me being miserable. what is your problem dude? did i do something wrong? and well, hello, fyi if you were revenging on the rumours, last year, let me say this, ITU CITERH TAHUN LEPAS BODOH! AND I DID NOT ONCE NOT EVEN ONCE ADMITTED THAT I LIKED YOU! IF I HAD CONFESSED TO HAFIZ OR SYERA, IT MEANS IM SERIOUS! BUT DID I ? NO! SO LEAVE THAT RUMOUR ALONE YOU ASS! AND I HELPED YOU BECAUSE YOU LOOKED PATHETIC ! BEING A SOFT HEARTED PERSON LIKE ME, I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE MY MATE SLIDE DOWN THE DRAIN! BUT UNFORTUNATELY AGAIN, YOU WERE NEVER ONCE THANKFUL BUT INSTEAD YOU WERE JUST UNHAPPY ABOUT THAT STUPID RUMOUR THAT HAS NO TRUTH IN IT AND YOU WITH YOUR EGO ALWAYS TRIES TO RUIN MY LIFE! now, back to frownie. well, something frownie said made me cry. i was not desperate enough to want to hold on to you frownie. and i had just started to develop that liking. and the reason i cried is also because, i really badly did not want you to know. but when you knew, i just have to cry. maybe it seems so little and pathetic to most of you, but to me? be in my shoes people. you and you never felt the sense of rejection, and that is why you and you never once feel what i felt. maybe one day you will, but i won't pray for that to happen. frownie told me to let go of him. and you know what? fine. here i am letting go. i was a muddlhead after all that happen. and i almost topple off due to losinig my balance. and thanks to tution mate, thanks for holding onto me, firmly. but now, i guess im a little better here. i guess, i can let go of you. cause i wasn't so into you. thank you for that few moments of freedom and happiness that i was allowed to admire you.

tragedy 2, ex-crush.

i was somewhere in the school. and i was sitting with someone. apparently, this someone told me something unbelievable. he said:

"amal, why do you have to go for frownie? do you know that it is better is you still lik ex-crush. he likes you too you know. he admitted it to the soccer boys. i'm not making any stories. it is a fact. those soccer boys knew about this. and they respected him for liking you."

after he said that, i had a few debates with him. unfortunately, i ran out of words. so, to prove to myself that what he said was a lie, i had to cross reference to another soccer boy, who i think is quite, trustable? and so, some of the facts do match. but somehow, this so called "trustable" soucre of mine is involved in the scene only like, half of it? so i guess it is still unreliable much? [mcm familiar this sentences? yea SS.] well, i'm still a muddlehead about this. i'm now feeling =/ about this. i have no guts to ask. because if the outcome is negative, i'm gonna loose out. loose what? face, duuh. so imma 50 50 in here? idk. idk to believe or not to believe? haisxzz.

and so , if you have any comment, do tag me, or maybe just talk to me personally. i'm used to comforting others. and this time, i need comfort. i need help. but i don't expect much. just anyone to lighten what i'm feeling.

good night strangers